[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
Donna Summer - On the Radio
(Source: imovethestars)
1 week ago - 
12
12 
2 weeks ago - 4
4Piano intro to this is great.
John Coltrane - Tenor Saxophone
Wynton Kelly - Piano
Paul Chambers - Bass
Jimmy Cobb - Drums
(Source: unrequition)
2 weeks ago - 2
2 SBucks
Having recently seen the wonderful film ‘Marley’ it was a real treat walking into certified coffee behemoth Starbucks, not to the sound of insipid, characterless, horrible, generic drone, but to the music of the big man: Bob Marley.
Gold STAR for them.
Somebody stop me.
Oh, hi there.
To the rapture of many and the ire of others (lol), this blog has remained without any sort of cognitive contribution for some time now, and I sense the assemblage of devoted readers this bosh no-doubt attracts getting restless… And anyway, a blog is after all defined by the dictionary as a web site on which an individual produces an ongoing narrative. Consequently rendering, arguably, half of Tumblr not in fact blogs in the literal sense, unless you count mindless re-blogging as a narrative, which i dont! And on this blog my word is fucking law bitches (not intended to be derogatory to women).
Anyway, what incited me to actually open the text option on the dashboard was my eating a slice of Melon, in the fruit salad I had just bought at ridiculously inflated expense.
It struck me, as the insipid taste permeated my taste-buds, that I could find no redeeming features in the flavour of Melon, and that it’s popularity - like Planking, The Big Bang Theory and Pippa Middleton’s arse - is completely beyond me.
It seems almost audacious to include this bland, glorified piece of water in a fruit salad, alongside much more charismatic fruit such as Orange, Pineapple and Strawberry. Is it simply done - like having Nick Clegg as deputy PM - so the other fruits seem increasingly more impressive? (satire).
Like many things in this life, Melon is something i’ll just never understand. And it’s not even because I don’t like it (although I guess it sort of is…) - I don’t like Cheese, but I can appreciate why someone might, it has a strong intimidating flavour that I can imagine some pallets would find enjoyable.
So there you go, If anyone can explain to me the appeal of Melon, it would be welcomed with open ears (though not an open mouth LOLOLOLOL)
Maybe Greg Wallace, notable fruit and veg expert could get in touch?
Until that day,
Louis Magee Wood
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
Hate blogs that just reblog songs and stuff…
Here’s my 3rd in a row - Thom Yorke and FlyLo
(Source: enigmacontinuum, via enigmacontinuum)
1 month ago - 15
15 
(Source: fymodernfamily)
Victor Baxter: The True Story
We’ve all wondered at some point exactly how Victor Baxter went from lowly chef at, what I think we can all agree, is one of the worst restaurants that has ever fucking existed - The Chill Grill - to personal chef of The President Of The United States.
Well, I’m here to impart to you the true story of Victor Cornelius Baxter…
A victim of the economic downturn, Victor Baxter had hit rock bottom after the aforementioned Chill Grill faced foreclosure for being, essentially, a festering assemblage of incompetent chefs, and inedible food.
Falling foul to Victor’s gambling problems, and the recession, It was a financial disaster, with the previously affluent Baxter family hemorrhaging money left, right and centre. Incidentally, the problems had not been foretold by their freakish psychic of a daughter, Raven, as she was too busy having useless premonitions about her stupid friends stealing goats and whatnot, whilst designing the shittest clothes eyes have ever been subjected to. Needless to say all of this stress finally took it’s tole on Mr. Baxter.
This is what he had to say as his beloved business bit the dust:
“Life is going to knock you down sometimes. And that’s okay. But what’s not okay is when you let life keep you down. Don’t worry. Everything’s going to be okay. I’m not going to be down for long.”
However months later Victor Baxter hit the bottle. He started beating his wife, embarked on weeks of chronic masturbation, and even threatened to throw his daughter Raven out of the house if she didn’t get a proper job (as mentioned at that point she had been pursuing a career in fashion despite having absolutely no taste in clothes.)
↑ LOL
This is where it gets interesting.
A friend of the family, Eddie Thomas, infamous for being a stupid hollering cunt, had links through his step father to al-Quaida. Interestingly, years later it emerged that Thomas had played an integral role in the September 11th attacks on New York City, but I digress.
Thomas informed his superiors of the desperate financial state, and general anguish of Mr. Baxter, and that he may be vulnerable enough to be turned. Well, Victor didn’t really have a choice at this point, the unpatriotic fuck was used to living the high life, he’d lost his wife, his daughter, and due to a failed sex tape attempt, his dignity.
So after embarking on a rigorous training programme in Lebanon, Baxter came back with one mission…
TO KILL THE PRESIDENT
Al-Quaida then forged the necessary documents, and through internal links to the White House, landed big Vic the role. Also, to seem less suspicious, Baxter’s insufferable son Cory - who despite the financial problems had managed to ballon to a weight unintelligible to the average human - came along for the ride.
It is still unknown how Baxter came to be basically sharing a room with the president, but what is known, is that had Cory not managed to eat all the food which - complete with poison - was laid on for the president, things could have got very ugly in the U S of A.
1 month ago - 2
2 Ski Blog - The Hotel
As I know the fuckers reading this are a lazy bunch, I thought I’d split this up, so people aren’t too intimidated by the length of the single post.
So the hotel is quite cute. It is run by and English woman, who has seemingly employed an entire italian mafia family to do the day-to-day running of the place, probably slave labor.
Possibly the highlight of said staff is the cheeky babe that we’ve been admiring throughout the week - she’s been wearing a particularly figure hugging pair of tights leaving *cough* little to the imagination - so you know, being the ladies man that he is, ben fancied his chances, going on to proclaim he thought she ‘would be up for it’ or something to that affect…
It was later discovered the lovely lady in question was in fact happily married to another member of staff…
The happy couple
Here she is in all her glory.
‘Sergio’ - the chain smoking chef - has been serving up some delights in the kitchen. My particular highlight being the baby squid that he has obviously had frozen out the back of the hotel for the last 5 years.. Needless to say there won’t be any Michelin stars awarded any time soon… He’s a safe guy though.
However overall the Hotel Le Cret has been a real good stay and I can’t complain too much.
Coming next: The Nightlife
The money shot
